Baby's day out

I could barely sit still today. I had only 2 meetings and both of them got cancelled as the other party wasn't available. Being the quick and efficient worker that I am, I had already closed on most of the work for the day. Suddenly, a friend at office had a brainwave.

"Why don't we go outside for a late lunch?"
"Why?"
"Well, its good networking, we can get to know each other better and besides, my wife forgot to pack me lunch today."
"Aha...Hey a, b, c, you wanna come along?"
"Where?"
"Oh, anywhere, as long as its out of office. Its Friday after all!"
"Let's go!"

With considerable enthusiasm, the four of us made our way to the basement parking, while all the time furiously debating on where to go. We finally decided to go to the Forum Value mall that had recently opened at Hope Farm.

The outing was great! We had good food (burp!) and a nice trip to a new place. Besides, I sneaked in some super-fast shopping while the guys weren't looking! All in all a mighty successful prelude to the weekend!

Proverbs- what they REALLY mean

What they say...
A rolling stone gathers no moss
What they mean...
A rolling stone is too busy rolling to be able to pay attention to doing silly things like gathering moss (ugh)

What they say...
Too many cooks spoil the broth
What they mean...
Because they were concentrating on sauteed vegetables, broiled chicken and spaghetti instead of the broth

What they say...
All that glitters is not gold
What they mean...
Don't forget there are gorgeous diamonds, sapphires, rubies, emeralds and the pope's shiny bald pate.

What they say...
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
What they mean...
And the mind forget

Songs

And today, we talk about songs! I've been listening and re-listening to a lot of music these days, what with the 2 hour power cuts in the evening and all. Well then, here goes....

The songs that never fail to make me swing
Candy Shop, Disco Inferno, In da club (50 cent)
Engel, Kokain, Du hast (Rammstein)
My resurrection (Ill Nino)
What the hell, most heavy metal numbers! :-)

The songs that make me cry
Sometimes love just aint enough (Patty Smith)
If I never see you again (wet wet wet)

Radical song
Three little pigs (Green Jelly)

Slow and sexy
Voodoo Lady (Live)
Evidence (Faith no more)
Feel like makin' love (Bad Company)
The look of love (Burt Bacharach)

Soft and romantic
And I love her (Beatles)
If I fell in love with you (Beatles)
Something stupid (Frank and Nancy Sinatra)
You fill up my senses (John Denver)

Books

Which book am I reading now?
Twilight Vows (Maggie Shayne)

Last mind-blowing book I read
Twilight (Stephanie Mayer). The rest of the books in this series suck.

My all time favourite character
Dirk Pitt

My all time favourite comic series
Archies

What I would not mind reading
Faraway Tree (Enid Blyton)....yes!!

I absolutely hate
Self help books

I can't do without
Arthur Hailey, Clive Cussler, Alistair McLean, Tom Clancy, Jeffery Archer, Frederic Forsythe, John Mortimer

The book that made me think
Are you kidding? Nothing can make me do that!

If I write a book, it will be like
The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Michael Jackson

I grew up listening to MJ. I used to love those beats and his awesome dancing. In fact, I used to think Grammy Awards was all about him and nothing else!

His brand of music and dance will be sorely missed.

Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince

I was really excited. I mean, really really excited. With a capital E-X-C-I-T-E-D. In other words, I was excited.

Why? Because Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince was releasing over the weekend. And I'm a great fan of Harry Potter. So I got a ticket and waited with bated breath and a tub of chilli popcorn and some coke and a cup of cappuccino and fries and a burger for the movie to begin.

Ten minutes later, I had finished all my food and was itching for the movie to end. Never in my life have I seen a worse movie. The characters were least interested in acting, the story line was skewed, all unimportant things were highlighted as the main story while the main story was nowhere to be seen. A lot of scenes were shown as they never happened in the book and the end result was a pain in the butt.

I may not be the gourmet connoiseur of movies but I can spot (or rather feel) a pain in the butt when I come across it. And this movie was definitely it.

At the end of those agonizing hours, all I could remember was how good the popcorn tasted and how refreshed I was feeling after a much needed sleep in the AC.

Roach Researches

Continuing on my research of the Denizen of the Ditch, the elusive cockroach, I searched far and wide for scientific experts who could help me with my PhD.

Luckily for me, while celebrating the treasure hunt win with my bunch of buddies, who should I come across but the famous Resident Roach Researcher of all time! I was very excited. Finally I was going to be able to ask questions the answers to which that had forever eluded me!

Over some delicious biryani, he began to explain while I furiously scribbled away on my notepad.

"It is the strongest creature you know"
"If the world were destroyed in a nuclear disaster, guess which is the only creature that can survive? Yes, the cockroach. But he will soon die within 8 days. Why? Lack of good food..."
"Very adaptable"
"Has amazing mimicing abilities"
"Exoskeletal structure makes it difficult to crush to death"
"Capacity to generate its own sustenance"

I looked up at the Researcher in wonder and amazement. Finally I was going to be able to complete my PhD.

My Pet Lizard

Well, so I'm a little different. Stop looking so scandalised. They make really good pets, once you get over your fear.

I was wondering how to solve the problem of boredom when I suddenly espied a huge shape moving over the wall. I looked carefully. It was the most massive, eerie-looking, tan coloured lizard I have ever seen. It was probably more muscular than I'll ever manage to be and I shrank away, dazed.

Then it slowly danced all over the place, eating up mosquitoes and cockroaches. Realisation dawned and I promptly fell in love with Sam. My pet lizard.

I won!

Finally!
I'm really big on extra curricular activities, especially when they eat into your work time. So I didn't hesitate for even a moment and jumped right into the 'Treasure Hunt' competition. We were given a bunch of photos clicked at various locations in the office and we had to find them within the allotted time of 20 minutes.

That sounded very easy till I saw the photos. They were miniscule bits of stuff, stretched out to form grainy, hardly recognisable shapes. So much so for being easy. Not to be put off though, we used our considerable brains and when that didn't work, we simply ran all over the place, looking.

And we wrapped the whole thing up in 9 minutes flat! We got a prize! And we are going celebrating this Friday. How's that for a great week?!

Hellsmoking Hot

Sigh, like a god he rose from the water - hot, gorgeous and downright delicious. His smoldering eyes shot flame darts at me while I simpered incoherently in a corner, mind benumbed by the sight of his powerful shoulders moving in slow grace even as the water dripped lazily down his washboard abs.

Then the power went off and my TV conked out. Hmph. So much so for my movie.

Sweet Surrender

I never thought dieting would be so difficult. Not only do I have to give up on all the delectable dishes I so love gorging on, I have to eat all sorts of disgusting junk (health food, my foot!).

So when I finally chanced upon a slab of chocolate cake, unwittingly of course, I decided to surrender myself to the temptation....aaahhh....that tasted so good!

Roach Battle Strategy

Back on popular demand.

We spoke about how to go about killing a cockroach. As you know, Planning is the most important task in any project. You first need to make sure you have thought through all alternatives, possibilities, scenarios and have prepared contingency plans to address them.

1. Know your enemy: This is an absolute must. How well you know your enemy directly translates into how efficiently you can execute him. Spend a few months studying all there is to know about cockroaches through books, internet and online discussion forums. Interview people who have encountered cockroaches and gain valuable insights from their experiences.

2. Understand his mind: You must know the mind of your enemy. What will his reaction be to a loud noise? What will he do when cornered? Which way does he run to throw you off-track? Where does he hide during the day? What does he like to eat?

3. Anticipate his moves: After you have studied for a sufficiently long time (time enough to earn you a PhD if it had been some mundane subject like Economics) you should have sharpened your skills to be able to anticipate his moves. You can't stand at the battleground with your laptop and feed in complex permutations and combinations when the cockroach is busy crawling up your bare leg.

4. Be prepared: Always. You never know when you will be attacked. Get to the state of unconscious competence. This comes with years of training and hard work. I wasn't kidding about the 2-hour, thrice a day workout regimen.

5. Revel in the sweet taste of revenge: Make sure to take adequate number of photographs with your dead enemy to show friends and well-wishers. This will give you unprecedented popularity and will boost your macho-image. You could even dedicate a website and give people tips on how to battle this menace.

To Kill a Mocking Roach

While most people squirm at the thought of fighting dragons and monsters, I bravely plunge into battle, slicing the enemy to pieces with my sledge hammer.

In my dreams, of course.

Facing the cockroach though, is an entirely different matter. It requires a certain precision, years of practice, talent, skill and a very cold calculating mind. Oh, and an asbestos stomach. This is serious stuff we are discussing. We want to decimate the Denizen of the Ditch with weapons, not vomit.

Now then, here's your step-by-step guide:
1. Weapons. This is the most important thing ever. You hardly want to master all tricks and then stand blubbering in front of the cockroach without a weapon in your hands. Get yourself a pair of military combat boots. If you can't, a pair of women's high heels does the trick just as efficiently.

2. Stealth. You can't go stomping around announcing your arrival to the whole roach kingdom of three lands. You gotta be smooth and sneaky about it. Approach roach with the weapon quietly, very quietly.

3. Precision. You gotta know where to aim. You gotta anticipate the roach's moves, its thoughts, its actions. Read my comprehensive guide to Roach Battle Strategy for more information on tactics.

4. Speed. You must, absolutely must be faster than the roach! Its quite no point mastering 1-3 if you can't keep pace with the creature, is there? Get your lazy butt off the couch and start working out at the gym for 2 hours, three times a day.

5. Smash. This is the final step. You sneak up on the roach with the weapon, aim for the heart and speedily execute the "Smash". There can be no room for error or you'll be smashing all over the floor while the roach and his teenage pals snigger at you from a safe distance.

Execute 1-5 with aplomb and you can be guaranteed a pest-free home.

Life goes on

It creaked, groaned and fluttered
Wailed, vibrated and shuddered
Constricted, grew cold, whimpered
Begged, pleaded then surrendered.

My heart, shattered,
Smashed to smithereens
While life goes on, unfeeling.

The Me

My brain just doesn't work on Mondays and Fridays. On other days, I forget to bring it to office.

Sense and Sensibility

Did it ever occur to you that whatever is good for you, or practical, is almost always hideous-looking or awful tasting? All those times you were told to "eat your vegetables" when all you wanted to do was gorge on cookies and chips? Remember when you wanted so desperately to wear high heels even though you had to walk for 2 kilometers to get to the bus stop? Or how about all those disgusting books that had to be read and re-read and re-re-read for those awful "character building" examinations?

Sense and sensibility? hah, more like Nonsense and Nonsensitivity.

Renamed

Hello all,
I decided to rename my blog. Had got tired of the same title. The new URL is:

http://moi-musings.blogspot.com though of course if you are reading this, you already know!

Hehehe....just checking to see how many of you are really awake.

Cheers!