My Hairband

Most of the times, I forget to be all prim and ladylike. The other times I am too busy goofing up to be any good at it. So, all in all, I am the most hopeless failure in the feminine guile-and-charm department which the rest of the female species seems to be naturally endowed with.

So I go and buy a lipstick and half an hour after dabbing it on my lips, it disappears into thin air. Or rather into my tummy. At other times, I try kajal and then go on to rub my eye, blackening half my face in the process. I buy high heels and keep them in the showcase for display purposes while I saunter off in floaters under formal trousers.

However, there is one accessory that no one on earth seems to use but which I can't live without - my black hairband. It is a metal affair with jagged teeth to hold unruly tresses with authority and aplomb. It is the singlemost important item of clothing when I am at the gym. It also comes in handy when I want to pry open stubborn doors or ensure my cap stays in place. Of course when it is not plonked on my head, it acts as an effective paperweight.

Business Law

I stared at the book for about an hour figuring out how to interpret it. Although the words were in English, the language strangely was miles off.

Yes, I am talking Law. Business Law. It is totally incomprehensible.

Seven days later, I was still struggling through my 7th chapter. I have 2 more to go. Sigh.

10 K

I did it again.

While the world slept peacefully, earning a well deserved rest after two days of hard partying, I was busy brushing my teeth with half an eye open at 5AM on Sunday. I had decided to run and when I do decide to do something, its rather difficult to dissuade me. Even if it means neglecting my precious beauty sleep.

At 5.45, I was ready to tackle the world. A bunch of us were practicing for the marathon and I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. We reached Cubbon Park around 6:30 and after another few minutes of waiting for others to join in, we started off at a brisk pace.

It was amazing. The park was gorgeously green and cool and last night's rain had added to the overall beauty of the place. Here and there the road was dotted with the serious joggers, the mild joggers, babies in prams with plump mothers cooing over them, big men with ponderous moustaches and even more ponderous gait, young children playing badminton, dogs barking at other dogs, dogs barking at people and the five of us weaving through without breaking step.

I looked around me with interest and excitement, never realising that an early morning could be so vibrant if only you were awake to see it.

I finished a straight jog with 7 km and the remaining 3 km walking.

Confessions of a Devil

1. I so wish I could get some of those modern ACs installed in here. Its terribly hot in hell
2. They don't make good enough sunscreens anymore...
3. When they talk about being between the 'horns of a dilemma', are they talking about my brain?
4. I am so tired of my boring red outfit. Now, white on the other hand...
5. I don't have too much work to do these days. Man has started following in my footsteps of his own accord. Remember Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Remember 9/11?
6. My phone number is NOT 666. Cellphones don't work here, they melt in the fire.
7. I do have a 2MBPS ISDN connection though...
8. I am D evil one. Or De Vil-lain. Hence Devil. Always curious, aren't you?
9. No, my tail doesn't poke me when I sit.
10. Can I have an iPad? I have heard so much about them...

Excalibur

I was facinated by King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. Legend has it that only the king could extricate this magnificent sword from the slab of stone it was embedded in and when Arthur, a mere boy of 16 did so, history was made.

So when I chanced upon this drilling machine in a mall, it occurred to me that here was our very own modern version of the story.

Yeah, I did pull it out of that stone.

No, I wasn't crowned king. Hmph.

Managerial Economics

I just finished my assignments on this subject and gained some valuable insights into the mysterious world of Economics. Here are some definitions:

Demand - what you make when you want to go shopping
Supply - credit card of your boyfriend
Demand forecasting - how accurately your boyfriend can gauge your impending urge to shop
Law of supply - the less money your boyfriend has, the more you will want to shop
Elasticity of demand - a woman's demands are never ending. Period.
Production function - how many credit cards your boyfriend has or can procure. Also, how much money does he make
Monopoly - having only one boyfriend
Oligopoly - having 2 boyfriends to choose from
Perfect Competition - when you are happily playing the field. There are no entry restrictions.
Opportunity Costs - what you miss when you choose one guy over the other
Cost Benefit Analysis - a girl's guide on how best to choose the right boyfriend.

Brain Drain

My brain is on vacation. Officially.

So how do I manage to work? Are you kidding? Whenever did you need brains for that?!

GAH!

Sitting in a training can be quite fun. As long as others are somewhere close to your intelligence level.

But as usual, since I get caught in all sort of sticky situations, I got pulled into one where the whole class was a classic bunch of nincompoops.

Not only was the progress of the subject matter slower than mollasses, I fell asleep at least five times without missing anything worthwhile.

I am still sitting in that infuriating training session listening with wonder to the extent of stupidity that people can display.

Of long meetings and unending trainings

Sometimes, I think that man made meetings solely for the purpose of avoiding work instead of bringing together the right resources to tackle an issue and get work done. A prime example of this was one of the ostentatious 2-hour long ops reviews I attended today. How they manage to sit so long and look attentive throughout that duration without actually listening or understanding is a skill that I desperately need to muster!

Writer's Block

One does tend to suffer from the Writer's Block from time to time. Even one as supremely intelligent and cosmically significant as I. And when the Writer's B does come to one as supremely intelligent and cosmically significant as I, it comes in spades.

I made a large cup of steaming hot tea and pondered over my problem between delicate sips of the restorative. Tea normally perks me up and gets those grey, blue and pink cells going. The old mitochondria start pumping away, the dendrites and axons begin to start oiling the old works and within minutes, I am refreshed and full of fresh energy, ideas and enthusiasm.

Alas, but no free flowing prose poured out of my divine fingers this time.

I should change the brand of tea I suppose.

Left, Right, Wrong

I left right on time. Then turned left at the intersection, looked right and left, and walked right into the right shop. I had a big agenda today. I had to right a few wrongs.

I walked up to the counter grimly and pointed to the object of my interest.

"This one Madam, right?"
"No, the one on the right"
"Right? Ah, right. Well, here you are"
"No, the other right"
"Ah, you mean left"
"Right"
"Right"
"Yes, that's the only one left"
"Rather. This is the one you were alluding to?"
"Right"
"Right"
"Right"
"Right"

After this intellectually stimulating conversation, I left with the right thing. Or so I thought. When I reached home, I realised I had left it wrongly right where it should not have been left.

Don't blame me. English is a funny language.